I’ve never had a father-figure in my life. I’ve studied psychology. I believe in the Oedipal and the Electra Complexes. I often, without shame in my own mind, have fantasies about having sex with my father I have never met and know nothing about. I primarily imagine that I’m a little girl and he stimulates me sexually and I innocently enjoy it. I can probably think this way because I never had a father. Perhaps all girls go through this at some point. I’m just about 20 years late because I never had a man in my life. It wasn’t until I entered the workforce that I was consistently surrounded by men who could be my father’s age. This was uncomfortable at first; now, it’ s the most comforting part of work I love to work with men this age. I feel secure, like I have a lot of fathers. So, maybe I’m in my 5th year with having men of this age consistently in my life and I’m going through the Electra Complex. When I have these fantasies, I don’t think of any man in particular. I just think of a man and a little girl. The girl is always a younger version of me, usually between 7 – 12 years old.
I’m a bit prude myself. I’ve only ever had sex about 10 times. So, it’s natural that I want an instructor…someone who will guide me sexually and take care of me like an innocent child.
