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	<title>After the storm.</title>
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	<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com</link>
	<description>Life and love after a painful childhood.  This is my place to cry.</description>
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		<title>After the storm.</title>
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		<item>
		<title>Test of my strength</title>
		<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2009/01/20/test-of-my-strength/</link>
		<comments>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2009/01/20/test-of-my-strength/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Jan 2009 06:27:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bellalocarocka</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/?p=46</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Am I really strong if I just run, run, run?  When I&#8217;m hurt, I leave.  I make the decision fast and then I&#8217;m out&#8230;like lightning.  I&#8217;m chasing after experiences that will hopefully fill my life with joy.  My motivaiton in life is to keep my mind stimulated, continue to learn, and succeed.  It&#8217;s the pain [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bellalocarocka.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3557126&amp;post=46&amp;subd=bellalocarocka&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Jason Mraz: A Beautiful Mess</title>
		<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/12/25/jason-mraz-a-beautiful-mess/</link>
		<comments>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/12/25/jason-mraz-a-beautiful-mess/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Dec 2008 18:22:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bellalocarocka</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beautiful mess]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bipolar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jason mraz]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/?p=43</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I could easily be the girl Jason Mraz sings about in A Beautiful Mess.  &#8221;You&#8217;ve got the bes of both worlds, you&#8217;re the kind of girl who can take down a man and lift him back up again.  You&#8217;re strong, but you&#8217;re needy, humble, but your greedy&#8230;&#8221; Then, Jason Mraz goes on to say: &#8220;I [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bellalocarocka.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3557126&amp;post=43&amp;subd=bellalocarocka&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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			<media:title type="html">           Listen to the pronunciation of 1patient</media:title>
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		<title>Forgiveness</title>
		<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/12/16/forgiveness/</link>
		<comments>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/12/16/forgiveness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2008 05:32:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bellalocarocka</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/?p=40</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[How often do you hear words thrown around, simple words, that are often taken for granted.  For example, forgive.  How often have you heard, &#8220;forgive, but don&#8217;t forget?&#8221; According to Merriam-Webster, word: forgiving Function: adjective Date: 1623 1 : willing or able to forgive 2 : allowing room for error or weakness The latter is [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bellalocarocka.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3557126&amp;post=40&amp;subd=bellalocarocka&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Unloveable.</title>
		<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/11/20/unloveable/</link>
		<comments>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/11/20/unloveable/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:31:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bellalocarocka</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/?p=38</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m completely unloveable.  I can&#8217;t accept the love of anyone.  Don&#8217;t try to come near me.  I will push you away.  My problem is getting worse. I don&#8217;t even want friends in my life.  I want to be alone.  How long will this last?  I&#8217;m not depressed.  I just want to be alone.  But, I&#8217;m [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bellalocarocka.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3557126&amp;post=38&amp;subd=bellalocarocka&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Incestuous fantasies</title>
		<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/11/15/incestuous-fantasies/</link>
		<comments>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/11/15/incestuous-fantasies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Nov 2008 04:48:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bellalocarocka</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[electra complex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[father]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[incest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[incestuous fantasies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oedipal complex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/?p=35</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve never had a father-figure in my life.  I&#8217;ve studied psychology.  I believe in the Oedipal and the Electra Complexes.  I often, without shame in my own mind, have fantasies about having sex with my father I have never met and know nothing about.  I primarily imagine that I&#8217;m a little girl and he stimulates [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bellalocarocka.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3557126&amp;post=35&amp;subd=bellalocarocka&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Random purging&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/11/15/random-purging/</link>
		<comments>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/11/15/random-purging/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Nov 2008 04:24:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bellalocarocka</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mother]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rehab]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/?p=32</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8230;is good for the soul.  Negativity is lurking within me.  I focus on my flaws optimistically.  I truly believe I&#8217;m flawed, but I feel as if I can make myself better. Do you see how my writing is self-centered?  I never take the time to write about anything other than myself or my relations with [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bellalocarocka.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3557126&amp;post=32&amp;subd=bellalocarocka&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">bellalocarocka</media:title>
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		<title>Scars</title>
		<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/11/12/scars/</link>
		<comments>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/11/12/scars/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 12 Nov 2008 02:47:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bellalocarocka</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scars]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/?p=30</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today, I lifted my pant leg to show two male friends my extensively scarred knee from a recent surgery.  I find these scars to be extremely unattractive.  I like to show others to see their reaction.  A part of me is proud of them, for I have survived this damage.  I don&#8217;t want to live [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bellalocarocka.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3557126&amp;post=30&amp;subd=bellalocarocka&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Alone.</title>
		<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/11/11/alone/</link>
		<comments>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/11/11/alone/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Nov 2008 05:16:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bellalocarocka</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unrequited love]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/?p=27</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve never been in a long-term romantic relationship; some find this odd, especially new friends and potential mates.  Potential mates.  I&#8217;ve had too many to even begin to count!  Am I a heartbreaker, you might ask?  Sometimes, but not always.  If I had to sum it up, I&#8217;d say that it&#8217;s my heart that gets [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bellalocarocka.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3557126&amp;post=27&amp;subd=bellalocarocka&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">bellalocarocka</media:title>
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		<title>I never had a father.  Today, I suffer.</title>
		<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/05/18/i-never-had-a-father-today-i-suffer/</link>
		<comments>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/05/18/i-never-had-a-father-today-i-suffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 May 2008 22:08:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bellalocarocka</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[daughters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[father]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[john mayer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/?p=26</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Psychology tells us that women look for a mate who has character traits and habits that match those of her father. Since I never experienced fatherly love or any paternal attention (good or bad) where does that leave me as an adult? Extremely confused. Every time I listen John Mayer&#8217;s song &#8220;Daughters,&#8221; I cry because [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bellalocarocka.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3557126&amp;post=26&amp;subd=bellalocarocka&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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			<media:title type="html">bellalocarocka</media:title>
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		<title>My psychologist fell in love with me.  Part II.</title>
		<link>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/05/17/my-psychologist-fell-in-love-with-me-part-ii/</link>
		<comments>http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/2008/05/17/my-psychologist-fell-in-love-with-me-part-ii/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 May 2008 02:31:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>bellalocarocka</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[addiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grandmother]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mother]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychologist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ptsd]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bellalocarocka.wordpress.com/?p=25</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A few weeks after I began treatment with Dr. &#8230;, he checked himself into the hospital to overcome his addiction to alcohol. On the day he entered treatment, I showed up at his doorstep at 5:30pm, the time of our scheduled &#8220;appointment&#8221; to find a note written on the back of his business card, which [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=bellalocarocka.wordpress.com&amp;blog=3557126&amp;post=25&amp;subd=bellalocarocka&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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